Avengers Assemble #9
Stefano Caselli is soooo good. Those expressions!
Iron Man 3: Maya Hansen dies, really
Thor 2: Frigga dies, really
The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Gwen Stacy dies, really
98% of the females in X-Men:Days of Future Past: Dead, really
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Victoria Hand dies, really
Ant-Man: JANET VAN DYNE DIES, REALLY
the end of the ‘sirius black learns about muggle appliances’ is sirius black, being on a plane for the first time with remus
and they board and sirius is like ‘remus. this is like being toothpaste. this feels like a toothpaste tube. we’re minty. we’re going to die.’ remus is like we have not even taken off yet calm down
the engines turn on and sirius just SHRIEKS and grabs remus’ hand so hard it nearly breaks remus’ fingers
halfway through the flight sirius is like ‘I need a cigarette this is terrible’
the flight attendant races over like ‘SIR there’s NO smoking on this flight’ and sirius just whips around like ‘you’re damn RIGHT THERE IS YES THERE IS M8’ and remus is like please excuse him i am so sorry
remus brings calms forté for when sirius gets really nervous (which is, for people who dont know, essentially pills to knock you the FUCK out during transatlantic flights) and sirius just gets HIGH AS BALLS and turns into padfoot and remus is like THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA AND CANNOT GET WORSE because sirius is just whimpering the entire flight as a dog and the flight attendant comes back over completely baffled for like 8 different reasons but the rest of remus’ interaction with her is basically like
“sir is that dog trying to smoke a cigarette”
“HE MosT CERTAinLY IS NoT”
I want a cigarette case so i can put candy cigarettes in it
THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING
BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT
JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING
Ms Marvel #6
stop taking bucky’s metal arm away
stop taking charles’ wheelchair away
stop taking clint’s hearing aids away
disabled superheroes are important stop sucking please
things literally everyone, regardless of gender, looks good in:
- lacy lingerie
WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????
We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw.
If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.
joly is approached by musichetta in a bar the first time they meet
joly very drunkenly responds by singing ‘if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friieennd’ and then dramatically pointing across at bossuet who had gone to get drinks
they’re still trying to figure out how the hell that actually worked